This Week's Dilemma
Smells like 'white' spirit
Dear Nana,
(Or is it Grandma? I'm quite encumbered by formality) I am rather upset about something. I am confused by the fact that i have dated a rather gorgeous young man, banker, extremely bright and very cultural BUT he smells funny to me! Its confusing because I am attracted to him in every way BUT when I get close to him, I am completely repulsed by his smell. Its not b.o. such that you might encounter from a fat, hairy gent on the tube in mid-August, but more a musty chemical smell with undertones of condiments.
I haven't spent too much time analysing WHAT he smells of but I need to know what to do here. Am I being fickle or do i prefer my man not to smell like pickle? Is this nature's way of saying he's not a suitable mate for me? Or do i just need to encourage him to have a scrub? If its the latter, please can I have some useful, useable phrases with which to address the issue with him? No jokes please, I'd like to know what you really stink about this.
Sweetie x
Nana's Knowledge
Dear Sweetie
Firstly thank you for your most polite and most-entertaining correspondence. For clarification it is indeed ‘Nana', so you may leave your (wonderfully traditional) formalities to one side my dear.
Now then to the matter in hand. The sense of smell is a curious thing indeed! With all these new fancy potions and lotions that I hear young men are wearing nowadays I am not surprised you are confused – the days of enjoying the scent of your husband when he has had his weekly shower it would seem are a thing of the past.
There is indeed a fine-line between a masculine scent and that of unpleasant odour, but you're right - identifying the unwanted aroma is the answer. As a banker it is unlikely he is picking up a smell from work, say like a farmer might. Does he play a lot of sport? Have any strange or overtly-active hobbies? Or any chance he's a top secret chemist for the government or actually works as a cleaner in some run-down restaurant kitchen?
You also say it's not body odour, but I fear you are casting this aside too quickly. I can tell you from years of living with Grandad that obscure fungus and other ailments can have strange smells associated with them. Not pleasant, especially when courting as you are.
So the plan of action is:
- Enquire extensively about his past-times. You'll also find out if he could be the man of your dreams
- Invite a friend along and see if she is equally as repulsed – if nothing else you'll have something chat about over a sherry afterwards.
- The final (& high-risk) option is to spend some time with him without clothes on. I suggest a bathing arena or ‘spa' as are popular nowadays to see if you can identify the offending aroma.
I wish you the very best of luck, and if you are still with him at Christmas then I suggest new washing powder, conditioner, shampoo and shower gel. And some Royal Jelly creams for you as you deserve it for sticking with him.
As ever,
Nana
Comments so far...
Start a conversation about embarrassing illnesses or problems and see if he spills the beans...
Failing that buy him deodorant - subtly though - choose one with him and make sure he wears it!
If he smells he smells! Lose him!
Def be blunt. And buy him some breathable clothing!
tell him he stinks!!! haha o.m bt jst kinda like say.. cn u smell tha? things like aww i cn smell that agen or it smells in here duno wat it is keep sayn it lol e myt even smell himself an stil say i dnt no i cnt smell ntin bt then he's realised its him maybe the nxt tym he wil wear aftashave or sumfink.... or even spray him wid sum of ur perfume as a joke x
Once a stinker always a stinker as far as I am concerned! well in the head anyway. I could never ever forget that he always smelt weird!
You really do need to be brave, broach the subject and be honest with him.. good luck!
Everybody has their own odour, you have to decide whether you want to bother, I wouldn't.
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